REALITY IS SETTLING IN

Yesterday was a little bit hyper...when things slowed down Lara called and asked if I wanted her to come down for the night. I jumped on it as I didn't feel like being alone. In fact, for the first time in my life, I was actually afraid to fall asleep. My theory is that I was afraid of letting go of control. Once I realized that I went right to bed and crashed. Fell asleep without my usual 2 hours of reading.

Today was pretty interesting. I wasn't sure how long I could keep up the pollyanna tune and if gut-wrenching fear would take over. That didn't happen but some other things did creep in that I didn't anticipate. In general they all had to do with 'new perspectives.' I've heard that cancer does that to a person. Experiencing it, especially within 24 hours, was surprising. I'll write more about it tomorrow because I really like the new way of thinking. But not tonight; I'm bushed.

Oh...to document my day:

• Lara and I went to the Hearthfire Restaurant to celebrate this new phase of my life;
• we went to a movie, The Hangover, so that we could start my laughing campaign. We did laugh, but OMG how crude. Please tell me guys aren't really like that.
• I made my first appointment with the surgeon. It will be August 6 at 2:30. Susan, alas, won't be in town so can't go with me, but Lara probably will.